By A.C. James
Don’t do anything stupid, including, but not limited to:
-Blow yourself up with a quarter stick of dynamite.
-Throw a Roman candle into a campfire.
It will not shoot straight into the air and make beautiful sparkles.
Trust me on this.
The only result will be ear-piercing screams from your friends ducking for cover while you stand and watch in a drunken haze as it missiles horizontally in multiple directions.
I plead the fifth if you ask me for any further details regarding this warning 😉
-Set a tree on fire with fireworks… like my neighbors did one year.
-Almost torch the roof of your house with fireworks… like my husband did one year.
Yes, it’s patriotic to get drunk and be stupid on the 4thof July—just be sure that you don’t lose any appendages in the process. Otherwise, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. That leaves a lot open. Have a Safe and Happy 4th of July!